Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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