When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
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