I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
