Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
