Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
