Jerry, you need to find god
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Randomize
