I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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