I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
