you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
