Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
