I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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