My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
i just google imaged poop.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Randomize
