I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
