so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize
