I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Randomize
