Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
