i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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