What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
it glows. i had to have it.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
there is glitter all over my balls
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
