Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Randomize
