Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
These tits shall not be calmed
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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