These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
