wat bout pragnant strippers??
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
