you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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