Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize
