Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
