i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
