I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
What drink are we having for lunch?
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
