How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
