Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
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