Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
