I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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