I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Randomize
