I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Randomize
