You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
