I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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