Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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