You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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