I cockslap morals
and she was petting her beer can
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
