Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
