Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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