Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
