Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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