I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
