walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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