Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
