i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Randomize
