she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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