Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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