Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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