I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
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